FOMO in Paris
Sheldon and Laurie Rempel across from the apartment in Paris where they once lived. (Photo supplied)
FOMO. I keep hearing that word, which stands for fear of missing out. It reminds me of another word loneliness. As Sheldon and I work in our member care role, people often tell us how lonely they are and how much they long for deeper friendships. I think FOMO and loneliness are pretty common. To be honest, I have struggled with them too.
A few years ago, I lived on a busy street in Paris. One morning after walking my kids to school, I was having a really nice conversation with two ladies and decided to invite them in for coffee so that we could keep talking a little longer. However, as we walked toward my apartment, they both declined the invitation stating they didn’t have time that day. I was a bit disappointed, but took their word for it.
A few minutes later, as I took off my jacket, I wandered over to look out of my fifth floor window. I could see the regular traffic, a café, a Longchamp store, and people walking. Imagine my surprise when I noticed my two friends still chatting on the sidewalk for another five minutes! For a moment I was baffled and slightly offended to see them still there! I had some FOMO for sure.
Later on, I realized that for me a coffee break was 15 minutes long, but for my friends from another culture it was much longer! If they were to come to my apartment for coffee which I took the trouble to make and serve, they would also count on staying for at least one hour, maybe two or three. And, that day they didn’t have time. They were not purposely excluding or avoiding me. I decided to invite them over at a better time for all of us, and we eventually had a lovely coffee date.
Going back to FOMO and loneliness: we were made with this longing to be valued, to be part of something greater, to be in beautiful relationships with others. In fact, we all really crave close relationship with God and his creation. Blaise Pascal, the French mathematician and philosopher of the 1600s said it well:
“What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? Then he tries in vain to fill it with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself” (page 75 of Blaise Pascal’s Pensées).
I like the way Pascal calls our FOMO and loneliness a kind of helplessness. Yes, we are helpless but how encouraging to know that God became completely helpless to take on all our FOMO, loneliness and emptiness. That is such good news!
God, please come and fill us again with wonder and worship and all the fullness of your Spirit (Ephesians 3:14–19)!
