Listening as a spiritual practice
It’s gathering season and I’m wondering if you have your best stories and jokes prepared.
Early on in our marriage, my wife and I attended one of her extended family gatherings. It was a group I didn’t know very well and so, as was customary, I made my way into the living room to join the other men. Shortly after sitting down there was a lull in the conversation and one of the uncles that I didn’t know very well said, “Mo you’re a funny guy, tell us a joke.” I quickly tried to read the room and decided on my favourite Mennonite joke that used the smallest bit of Low German I could muster. I don’t think I told it right or my Low German pronunciation didn’t meet an acceptable standard and I haven’t been asked for a joke since.
I have often laughed at that moment, but I realize now that there was an amazing heart behind that request for a joke. It was an uncle trying to give me, the new kid, an opportunity to speak and have others listen. Let’s face it, our tendency in many conversations is to listen just long enough to find our next story and then we eagerly jump in and share our story or important fact. We can easily spend an entire conversation “one-upping” each other.
Research from Barna suggests that younger generations are feeling significantly more isolated (Gen Z, 26%) than older generations (Gen X, 15%; Boomers, 8%). They also suggest that feelings of loneliness are higher among younger generations. When asked “How often, if ever, do you feel lonely?”, the percentage that answered “frequently” were as follows, Gen Z, 28%; Millennials, 23%; Gen X, 20%; Boomers, 8%. (https://www.barna.com/trends/gen-z-emotions/). In an era of loneliness and isolation, one of the gifts we can give is to listen well to others, asking follow-up questions and giving them even more opportunity to be heard.
Spiritually, this can also be transformative for our relationship with God. When I, as a follower of Jesus, listen to others, hear their questions, and acknowledge their perspectives, it creates a trust that invites others to ask about my perspectives and, potentially, the hope I have found in Jesus. Then, as I listen, I can invite Holy Spirit to speak to me through the person I’m listening to. I have been amazed at the ways that God has given insight, has allowed me to recognize unspoken hurt, and has given me words of encouragement for the person I’m listening to.
Listening can also be used in our personal worship time with God: growing prayer time to include a significant time when we are quiet and invite Holy Spirit to communicate with us.
So, this holiday season, let’s work on the spiritual practice of listening. Let’s turn our attention to others and invite the Holy Spirit to help us listen for the purpose of building encouraging relationships with people and with our heavenly Father.
Resource Corner
The Open Generation by Barna Research
“Want to know more about Gen Z culture and their growing openness to spirituality in Canada? Here is a great research-based resource that helps to identify some of the unique characteristics found in younger generations.”
