What do we mean when we ask about our value?

When people you care about doubt their worth or value, what do they need to hear?

At a ministerial meeting some years ago the presenter encouraged attendees to serve as long as they were able to, even in an unofficial capacity. He stressed how much value a person had to give to the church, society and their own family after they were retired.

During Q&A he was asked what he would say to someone who was no longer able to serve, but he wasn’t prepared to answer a question that was really about the intrinsic value of a human being. His talk was about our external, or extrinsic, value—the kind we “acquire” by what we do, what we have or what people think of us. It is value we measure by how influential or effective we are and that we employ whenever we act or speak. (That’s an amateur philosopher’s wording.)

Extrinsic value matters because we want our life and work to mean something. We want influence and respect, and to have the capacity to do things we consider important.

But this kind of value often conflicts with our intrinsic value—the worth we have just because we are human, made in God’s image. This value does not depend on our race, gender, abilities, actions, possessions, or what others think of us or do to us. Nothing can change it. Because of this, all people deserve to be treated with dignity. Recognizing intrinsic value is essential in discussions about MAiD, abortion, poverty, addiction, housing, incarceration, social assistance and more.

It sounds good, and it is good, but back to our friend. When they wonder if the work they’ve done will last or if the work they do now matters, the value they are usually asking about is their extrinsic value—their value as a contributor. But how do we answer when their work is ending or they’re looking at a near future in which they will be dependent on others? When extrinsic value is stripped away, is being an image-bearer enough? And if we, who declare that it is, say so to our friend, do our actions align with our declaration?

I won’t preach. We are not enough to love as we should. We can never be enough to mend the hearts of people in our lives, not even those closest to us. I will say this, though: I have never felt so privileged as when I cared for my parents, along with my family, while their earthly lives wound down. In my eyes their being an image-bearer was more than enough.